Crossing this expanse and the leash slips from my gloved hand. She keeps on truckin' though, through sideways snow. I'm out walking in a storm again. The dogs drive me to it. Every time. And I'm thinking...
In my understanding, (which could be misunderstanding) the reason people say "She's finally at peace" or "He's finally at peace"... Is not because dying is hard. It's because living is.
Calm and chaos, love and hate, peace and suffering are all part of the same thing...Life.
And in my life, (like many I presume) peace runs alongside anxiety, runs alongside tranquility, runs alongside anger... And I don't know what comes after. I just don't know.
A different kind of peace? a kind of peace for which we have no knowledge or understanding. As our flesh and bone fall away, our soul takes flight. Atoms scatter. Energy moves.
No more dragging the leash.....
So today is a day to dream of these dangerous things. Of life and death...while also remembering something I'm certain is true... On the flip side of grief is joy, like two sides of the same coin. And It's all safe in my pocket and it spends the same way. and I'll keep betting on the whole thing, the total experience....Just like I always have.
#deathanddying #lifeandliving #lifeisart